Lack of Posts Equals

Lack of Deep Thoughts. And you know, by "Deep Thoughts" I mean random stuff that either makes me laugh or makes me angry. There hasn't been a lot of either lately. Even keeled. Blah.

Well, not quite true. MAN, I was steamed at Dave two weeks ago during the "TWELVE HOURS OF LAMAZE?!?" debacle. But as he has been getting better at apologizing, I am trying to get better at letting stuff go. So I won't get into a big rant about how I told him on at least three different occasions -one of them being The Very Night Before- the dates and times of the Lamaze childbirth classes that he, as my babydaddy, would be attending with me. I even sent him calendar invites to his Outlook. With reminders. So WHY did he freak out in the middle of dinner about 30 minutes before the first class, dropping his fork and screeching like a macaca full of self-centered indignation, "We have to go to TWELEVE HOURS OF LAMAZE CLASSES??", following it up with the ever-so-inappropriate, "Well, it might be important for YOU to learn that stuff…" Oh really, ass-clown? And you expect that you'll be standing by watching the Ohio State game as I push your child out?

And, on the funny side of the blog, you know, I vomited water on myself last week in the middle of a formal staff meeting. Now, I have to provide all this background info, lest you think this was something I could have controlled but chose not to. You see, as my uterus has been expanding (up to 1,000 times its normal size, a little fun fact for you to shudder over), my stomach and all other internal organs have been progressively being more and more squished up inside me. This commonly leads to heartburn and reflux in pregnant women. Well, couple that with my already f-ed up esophagus, and it leads to some Serious Reflux.

(OK, here's where I wish English had reflexive verbs.) Picture it- there I was, sitting in the middle of the formal staff meeting, minding my own business, carefully sipping some water… when de repente, sin advertencia, se me vomitó el agua. That's right- all of the sudden, without warning, The Water Vomited Itself On Me. Just like that, water pouring up my throat, out my mouth, down my chin, onto the front of my shirt. Um… Hello, water. I casually reached for a wad of tissues and mopped myself up. The meeting progressed all around me, people pretending as if I had not just spontaneously vomited water all over myself. Ha! Hahahaha! I was surprisingly not as fazed by this incident as one might expect. I sure did get a good chuckle over it, though. Like my hero Jimmy Buffett said, "If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane."