Tuesday, December 02, 2008

So I just watched the news...

...and I feel pretty nauseous. Seriously. What the fuck is going on out there? I am pretty damn good at seeing the bright side of things and making lemonade and (or maybe) fiddling while Rome burns and all, but seriously. I just kind of sat there, slack-jawed, feeling the pit growing colder and bigger with every new headline. I kind of wanted to grab JD and go running for a compound in Wyoming or Montana or some other big sky nowhere state, but then I remembered that they are all red, hahaha, so that killed that plan... I mean, I knew that the shit was bad, as far as somebody who gets her news from the google news headlines, but rarely reads a full article knows the shit is bad, but now I know explicitly and in no uncertain terms just exactly how bad it really is. Blech. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to raise a happy, kind, secure child in such a sad, scary, dangerous, volatile world? How can I keep him safe? And what about all the mothers who can't keep their kids safe? Because every single person out there who is hurt or sick or dead or hungry or scared or abused or violated or threatened, every single one of them is somebody's kid. And their mothers couldn't keep them safe. And that sucks.

And so I guess I'll just do my best to make sure that every single day of JD's life is as safe and happy as it can be, and I guess we'll just do our best to share our good fortune, as it continues, with people who need it, and to be as kind and good as we can be, and to see beauty and joy wherever it can be found. And I won't dwell on the shit, but I'll acknowledge it and do what I can. And I won't cry anymore tonight, unless it's at the pure beauty of, and pure gratitude for, my sleeping son, healthy and safe and peaceful and happy and loved.

No comments: