I was in Meijer’s, in the hardware section… I was looking for a shelving unit. I made my selection and bent down to pick it up from the bottom shelf. THUNK!!! A heavy, heavy box slid off a shelf above whacked me square in the back of my head as I was bent down.
Motherfucker! I jumped up and looked around to see who I could corral as an eyewitness in my lawsuit against Frank Meijer, Chairman and CEO. Nobody. I was in the aisle alone.
I rubbed my head and marched off, indignant. I had some serious complaining to do. I located a gentleman seated behind a service counter. I marched straight up and related my tale. He listened, intent and sympathetic. When I finished, he said, “Man, that’s awful! You should find somebody who works at Meijer’s and let them know…”
(Apparently Meijer’s allows people who are not employed by the company to sit behind service counters… ?)
I marched off and continued my quest for retribution. The next employee I found didn’t speak English, and the next one I found just plain didn’t care. Gotta admire the honesty, though.
I was left standing in the middle of the store, surrounded by pleather shoes and L’il Hugs drink barrels, shaking my fist in the air… Blast you, Frank Meijer! I’ll get you someday…
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