So.

So.

So, hello! Where'd you go? What'd you do? Who'd you see? What'd they say?

What's new?

It's 2010.

Long time, no blog.

Yeah.

(and now apparently I am returning as Matt Stupid Longelin...???)

Anyway, I've been Really Fucking Tired. Two kids is no joke, especially when one of them is a freaking three year old insomniac. Blah. WTF?? That's all I have to say about that. (Right now. I actually have a hella lot to say about it, but right now WTF?? just about sums it up nicely.)

Yeah.

Anyway, the maniacal insomniac is spending a Much Anticipated weekend w/ his grandparents, HOORAH HOORAH HIP HIP HOORAH YAY YAY YAY YIPPEE KAI YAI YAY WHEEEEEEEE!, and I am here letting the silence and peace wash over me like John the Baptist's healing waters, and I am praying that a small break will help me gain the strength, grace, serenity, patience, and kindness I need to survive this current situation. All melodrama aside, it's tough times around here. And seriously, that's enough about that.

Yeah.

I really wanted to come on here and write about Matty. My Matty. Matts. My sweet boy. His big silly smile, his grand gummy laugh, his round buddha belly, the soft sweet nape of his neck, his impossibly blue eyes, the dimples on his hands, his fat chubby thighs, the envy of sumo wrestlers everywhere. The sound of his laughter when I nuzzle his cheek and kiss his chin. The joy on his face when I walk in the room. The joy in my heart whenever our eyes meet. His magic. Our magic. His and mine. Because he and I, we are. I love him in a way that is inexplicable, indescribable, unknowable, unquantifiable. I've known him forever, I've loved him forever, even before I knew him, even before he was, but I knew him even then, and I loved him even then. I love him, every minute of every day, and I always, always will. Period, ad infinitum. I would say more, I'd like to say more, I worry that someday he will have wanted me to say more, but I can't. It'd be redundant, ad infinitum. I keep going back to that Gatsby quote, but it's just about the closest thing I can find to verbalize it. Matty and me, we're in estatic cahoots. It's the best feeling I've ever known.