Conversations with Pre-schoolers

At Dinner:

(Esposa sets down lovely plates of teriaki chicken, asian vegetables, and rice. Yeah Trader Joe's!)

JD (suspiciously): What's this white stuff?
Esposa: Rice.
(JD pokes and sniffs it, and puts a grain in his mouth.)
JD: Yuck.

JD (hairy-eyeballing a carrot): What's this thing?
Esposa: A vegetable.
(JD flicks it off his plate)
JD: Yuck.

JD (grimacing at the chicken): What's this brown stuff?
Esposa: Chicken.
JD (highly affronted): But I only like ORANGE CHICKEN*.
(JD gingerly takes a piece and licks it.)
JD: Yuck.

(Several minutes of sighing, moping, and yucking.)
(Esposa makes some vague and useless threats about withholding treats.)

JD (highly indignant): But I don't have enough on my plate! You didn't give me enough! You only gave me one vegetable! And only five chickens! I need more!
Esposa (mildly curious): Why? Are you going to eat it?
JD (pauses and thinks): NO.


Also At Dinner:

(Esposa's phone beeps)

JD: What's that sound?
Esposa: My phone beeped. Somebody sent me a message.
JD: On Facebook?


*Orange Chicken=Chicken Nuggets. Because of their lovely, unnatural hue. zOMG.