Yeah, I played the Lactation Card.

So my car desperately needed an oil change. As in, it was due in February 2009. After two foiled walk-in attempts at my local Midas, I finally wised up and called ahead to reserve an appointment for 10am this morning. So I thought.

Matty was still snoozing and showing no signs of waking as Time to Wake Up Now So I Can Nurse In The Privacy of My Own Home Before We Leave approached. So I did my least favorite thing in the world and hooked myself up to "the milk machine" so I'd be able to give him a bottle and spare us all the horrors of Breastfeeding In The Midas Waiting Room. He was still sleeping soundly when Time to Leave So We Won't Be Late arrived. So I did my other least favorite thing and Woke A Sleeping Baby.

The waiting room was jam-packed, and I congratulated myself on my Incredible Forsesight, on both the "Bringing a Bottle" and "Having an Appointment" fronts. Imagine my chagrin when the Sullen Young Mechanic informs me that they don't have me on the schedule.

"Whaddya mean, not on the schedule? I called on Wednesday." I gesture towards Exhibit A, who is appropriately grousing in his stroller. "I Woke my Baby up from his Nap." I narrow my eyes, raising my voice and carefully annunciating for maximum Emphasis and Implication. "I PUMPED a bottle of BREASTMILK."

And my words produced the Desired Effect. Sullen Young Mechanic turned eight shades of fushia and assured me that we would be In-And-Out in Under an Hour. And we were. BOOBS. They're not just for nourishing your offspring!