A few random thoughts before Ugly Betty comes on...

Some of the best long sleeve tee-shirts I have ever owned are these Gap Maternity tees. They are looong through the torso, and so stretchy that they are tight through the arms, tight through the chest, and just loose enough the stomach that I don't have to suck in, but still tight enough to be cute and flattering. I just love these tee shirts!! But then I remember that they are maternity tees, and feel kind of guilty or silly for wearing them. And then I think about how my giant stomach used to fill them up and stick so far out, and I get a little sad bc/ I miss it so much. Damn, I loved being pregnant...

Then I look at my giant four month old; he is turning into such a little man, reaching out and grabbing stuff, making these crazy little mini shrieks and key-hee-hee little giggles, pulling himself up when I help him sit and stand, rolling over, and -get this- petting the dog!! No shit. JD honest-to-pete petted Shank this afternoon. He was sitting on my lap, Shank was sitting on the floor w/ his head on my lap, I was patting Shank, when JD very nonchantly reached over and also started patting Shank. Then he started to rub his hand over Shank's head, just like a little boy petting a dog. Oh my God, my little boy was petting his dog. I could see the seeds of BFF-hood being planted. It was almost too much for me to handle.

JD even fell asleep for a nap the other day w/out me having to rock him. I almost cried. My baby doesn't need me any more. My heart is already breaking, thinking about the first time he will pull away from me when I try to hold his hand crossing the street...

So today is JD's four month birthday. It is also the day, one year ago, when I found out I was pregnant. Jeez. It literally seems like JD has been a part of my life for ever; I can't remember living without him. I loved to say that I was "expecting"; I really was, in the literal sense. And I was anticipating, and imagining, and hoping, and wishing, and playing all these happy scenes out in my mind... so, some turned out a little differently than I envisioned and expected, some not as good as I had hoped, but most so much better than I could have ever daydreamed...