Blame the iPad

I could totally write a novel. I've been writing one in my head all day since I read on some other dumb blog that it's NaPoNoMo Write A Novel month or something. Shit, I was a literature major. A Spanish Lit major, granted. My novel would totally be some stream of consciousness crap, with the narration switching between first and and third person randomly (but as a purposeful literary device, full of symbolism and hyperbole and such, claro). I'd even throw in some second person, much like that novel by that Mexican guy, I'm going to say Carlos Fuentes for now and maybe google it later, the one where the mean guy was dying, good LORD but I used to know this shit, I used to enjoy this shit, I used to use my brain so as it wasn't an atrophied piece of flubber (And oh by the way, fuck this stupid iPad and it's stupid autocorrect crap, which is totally wrecking my novel-writing stream of consciousness mojo by autocorrecting shit that I don't want autocorrected, and also, bc/ it doesn't have a right-click equivalent, how the hell can I edit when I can't right-click?) Right? Anyway, she sat back and she thought about herself, she thought of the person she was once, the person she used to be, the person she still could be if her life were just a little bit different, just a little more... (and she steps back and thinks of the effect that that would have had if she were writing in Spanish, the conjugated verbs, there would even have been some subjunctive just now, and was that the pluscaperfecto or what)... But she knew, she knows, that it couldn't be anything else, and she believes that it shouldn't be anything else, because she knows that everyone has that one moment, and if that's all she has or all she'll ever have, that moment is enough, and she believes that, and believes in that, and believes in her moment. You stand up and walk across the room, and you are starting to realize that it's harder than you might have thought to write a novel, you realize that you have to kind of organize your thoughts, and you probably should have a theme or a message or some action or something, and the freaking autocorrect is way too distracting anyway. You are annoyed at the iPad, since you are sure that it would be a lot easier to write a damn novel if it weren't for the damn not-a-PC iPad. You blame the ipad. Blame the iPad. That's totally what I would name my novel.