Evocation

For a while now, I've been struggling with the hows and whens of introducing JD to the concept of God. The long and short of it is, I've been too scared to do it. It's too big, too much, too important to fuck up. I don't know what to say, where to start, how to say it, how to explain it... so I haven't. I've just kept mum on the whole entire thing. Even with Christmas coming up, Baby Jesus seemed like a good, logical place to start. But then I would get all overwhelmed with the enormity of it all, the enormity of God Himself, and the enormity of explaining Him in a way that a three-year old could grasp, and I'd chicken out. Again. And talk some more about Santa! And Rudolph! And Presents! And Trees and Stockings and Wreaths!

So we've been singing Christmas carols. This morning I Fa-La-La-LaLa-LaLa-La-La-La-La'd my way through every secular song I knew, and JD wanted to hear more. So I sang my most favoritest Christmas song, ever--- Hark, The Herald Angels Sing. I don't know what it is about that hymn, but Holy Mary, it gets me. "Peace on Earth, and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled", I am tearing up just writing it. So I sang it, all three verses, and when I finished, JD said, "That was a beautiful song, Mommy. I liked those beautiful words."

Then he said, "Could you sing it again?"

But I kind of couldn't, bc/ I was choking, on all of the evocations, of Goodness and Peace and Beauty and Love and Faith and Joy and Innocence and Forgiveness and Hope. I was choking bc/ I heard God speaking to me through the voice of my small son, and He was telling me not to be afraid to teach my children about Him, because He is Goodness and Peace and Beauty and Love and Faith and Joy and Innocence and Forgiveness and Hope. And even the smallest child can understand that, and wants to hear about it.