JD versus Sir Isaac Newton

It's completely, totally, shamefully, My. Fault.

Yesterday, I sat JD up smack dab in the center of our large bed to amuse himself with his Funny Bunny rattle while I attended to my personal hygiene in the bathroom a mere seven feet away. As I stood there brushing my teeth, JD -faster than you could say "Oh My God There Goes The Baby"- stopped, dropped, and rolled... right off the edge of the bed, tumbling with a heart-stopping THUNK right down to the floor.

I literally cannot describe the terror and panic. He screeeeeaaaaammmmeeedddd- and who could blame him- and I literally have never moved so fast in my life. I cannot describe how fast I moved. I grabbed him up, he sobbed and cried and the tears ran down his little red face, and then he stopped crying, smiled at me, and patted my face. Then I started to cry.

Thankfully, JD's guardian angel was close by, because he was just fine. Not a stratch, bump or bruise on him. I was the one who couldn't stop crying and vomiting. Oh dear God. I have never, ever, for all the awful things I have done in my life, I have never felt so horrible, so awful, so desperately, desperately guilty about anything.

Dave did his best to comfort me -after noting how glad he was that it happened on my watch, not his- closing with the immortal wisdom, "No harm, no foul." Then he proceeded to tell me that they were reviewing criminal procedure in Barbri that morning, and that I would have been guilty of negligent homicide. (How nice that I gave him the chance to apply his knowledge!)

I felt so bad about it, I felt like jail would be too good for me. I learned a huge lesson, and JD learned that you just can't beat Sir Isaac Newton.